Sorostitutes Are Weak And Wounded

Sorostitutes Are Weak And Wounded

Posted: 08.26.2005

Daniel Underwood

We've all seen them. They walk with their noses turned toward the sky. They carry gigantic Vera Bradley purses. Huge circular ornaments -- I've been told they're sunglasses, though I still need to see the evidence -- hang from their faces; they look like Martians, members of a hazmat team or avid Darth Vader fans at the opening of a new Star Wars film. If you're lucky, you might just hear their Sperry Topsiders flapping against the ground, warning you that one's right around the corner. Yes, the dreaded "sorostitute."

But we shouldn't really make fun of these bilge-ridden, rancorous old sows; well, we shouldn't "just" make fun of them. We should also feel sorrow for them. They have been used and abused by the allurements of sorority pop-culture.

The image of the modern liberated woman -- empowered, sexy, audacious and fun -- has in many ways been inverted by sorority pop-culture. And by pop-culture I mean the superficial aspects of sorority life. The behaviors and the trends, without all that nutty sisterhood stuff; like Hollywood without actors, or religion without God. This inversion has happened to such an extent that the rites and relics of sorority life have gone from once being simply trends or communal symbols to now actually being part and parcel of sorority life itself. In a large way, sorority life is now more about accouterments than esprit de corps.

The analogy would of course be to the world's biggest popularity contest, also known as high school. The less fortunate or less popular kids always wanted to hang-out with the "cool" kids; they wanted to ride in the better cars, go to the better parties, wear the better clothes and just generally be envied. Now, did these less fortunate kids have some deep inner connection with the inner souls of the more popular kids? Clearly not. They wanted what the "cool" kids had; and they would sacrifice everything for a little acceptance.

And that's exactly what we're seeing a lot of today in college. Many girls are attracted to the glitz and glamour of sorority life. They could care less about being enjoined by common interests or nurturing lasting relationships other than those of the "I-slept-with-the-same-guys-you-slept-with" variety.

Take, for example, the exclusive list of clothes retailers and fashion accessories which basically serve as a litmus test for entry into a sorority (and I'm not talking about the kind of entry that takes place after drunken frat parties). Girls bite into that stuff like rabid dogs. It really is sad. Their neurotic conformity to the latest fashion trend shows how many girls forsake their own creativity and their true personality for blind faceless acceptance.

While their clothes often pitch-hit for their personalities, it's also worth our time to think about how they'll do almost anything in order to gain acceptance, and then just turn their backs on all their old friends. They thrash their way into a clique and then spit on anyone on the outside. In all actuality, these girls are simply insecure. Without a real sense of self-worth, they try to cheat or sleep their way into cafe society. Again, I really feel sorry for them.

One of the most valuable lessons in life is learning to be comfortable with oneself. Some famed author and speaker, whose name escapes me, has once said that our social progression through life takes us from dependence, through independence and into interdependence. In other words, at first we depend upon everyone for our self-worth. Then, we shun everyone else and defiantly call ourselves "accomplished," in whatever way we may conceive of. But finally, upon reaching the promised land of maturity, we become comfortable in our own shoes yet are still able to reciprocate well with others; able to both give and receive, to correct and be corrected. We're too high to be torn-down by others' opinions, but not too high to receive a little criticism here-and-there. Strength and humility, coalescing in one composite whole called self-comfort. Well, that's at least what I call it.

I might sound a bit dragging and platitudinous. But so be it. Obviously some people still need to hear my advice (witness "sorostitutes").

Oftentimes, sorostitutes feel validated when they discover that guys like them. But, sadly, they are so often deceived. Most men don't want this type of woman. They may entreat them as toys or trophies to be trotted out in front of their friends, but men don't want women who are decorated to death as partners in any type of meaningful relationship. However, it remains possible that these girls realize this and are perfectly happy with cheap, fleeting trysts. If so, I am even more saddened.

Lest there be any confusion -- as inevitably there always is -- what am I really saying? Is sorority life in any way "bad?" No, rather I think it can be a wonderful thing (though admittedly, I've never tried it). Are all sorority girls "sorostitutes?" Heavens no! None of my sorority friends are sorostitutes; but there's a lot of them out there who are.

My contention is not with sorority life. I'm worried about the girls who have nose-dived into sorority pop-culture to mask their insecurities. They aren't really interested in relationships. They just want to be loved, for all the wrong reasons.